helicopters & laughter...

its almost half past ten...haha...did I really just type that?? Oh hell no!
It's almost 10:30pm, PST. I am sitting on the bed...laptop atop my lap, bathrobe feeling cozy and soft against my skin, my reading glasses are on my lap as well. LOL! Yeah, I should have them on but I'm too sleepy to reach for them or is it that I am so tied to this computer I don't want to lift my digits off of the keyboard to put them on! OK OK!! I'm putting them on.

*stopped typing to put glasses on*

This is one of those blogs....that I just ramble...I am just typing what I'm hearing, feeling, seeing and maybe tasting at present moment. I hear a helicopter outside of the window and two people laughing. They sound happy! I like that. I like that I can hear laughter and appreciate it. I even hear the crickets....these sounds are some of the sounds that are making the music of my night. I am getting really sleepy now.

Going to get some rest now...tomorrow is a new day, full of possibilities that I can create whatever I want for myself and be whoever I want to be!

Men Are Like Wine...Are They???

So I was reading something and the following quote struck me....

"men are like wine...its our job to stomp on them & keep them in the dark until they mature into something to have dinner with." - Mifsud.

After reading this I thought to myself...I don't want to stomp on something in order to have it mature...who do I think I am. So I decided to write...I must disagree with that quotation and here is what I felt....

Men are not like wine...men are not like anything on this Earth. They, as a species are a beautiful creation and expression of God's goodness. I don't want to stomp on anything and keep it in the dark....who am I? I am woman. And woman in relation to man (IMO) is a beautiful reflection of himself. A man that I desire to reflect is a man of strength and sensitivity. Affection and openness. Freedom and full self-expression. Can I be that reflection to him? Yes, I can!!! Being present with him always. Giving one another the space to create a beautiful light. There is no darkness where I roam...its nothing and its everything. I am choosing not to define it. I am choosing not to compare it to wine or to whine. I am allowing man to be MAN! Please be that! Ever evolving...ever creating...ever loving...ever.
Now where is my mirror??!?!?!

A Good Year

Last night I was chillaxing at home watching the Ridley Scott directed, Russell Crowe acted film, "A Good Year". You know the one they did together right after "Gladiator"? Yeah, that one.

Well I am always moved by films like this. Always. Whether its "Under the Tuscan Sun" "Roman Holiday" "Something's Gotta Give" ....I think Europe is calling me. Subconciously. I think it is.

OK, back to "A Good Year" well at the end of the film, Russell Crowe's character Max Skinner has fallen hard for Marion Cotillard's character, Fanny Chenal....and she is a waitress in a beautiful French bistro and Max comes back to open up to Fanny and these were the lines....

yes! I was inspired and touched.

Fanny Chenal "You sure you don't need more time?"

Max Skinner "No, I know what I want"

FC "You're sure you don't?"

MS "Absolutely."

FC "So what is it to be?"

MS "How's the soup?"

FC "The soup is finished."

MS "Like my job." "The fish?"

FC "We've run out."

MS "That's like me with excuses."

FC "Don't waste my time, chose something we have."

(Max stands up and faces Fanny...getting very close to her)

MS "I would like a lifetime spent with an irrational and suspicious Goddess. Some short-tempered jealousy on the side and a bottle of wine that tastes like you. The glass that's never empty."

(extremely slow and soft kiss)

MS (in French) "Forgive my lips, they find joy in the most unusual places."

FIN


Now I know this is a movie but damn....that can happen in real life. Not necessary those amazingly written words but the feelings and the energy that exists between Max & Fanny. They were in that deep, speak to the soul, I don't care what the world thinks or says....we create our own world together love!

Beautiful!

I just had to share that because I am moved & inspired by that.

Yes! I Can!!!

I really feel like blogging...I am new at this and I am taking a chance...putting my thoughts out there! Whew!! Okay...breath Christann breath!!! I have been thinking about a bunch of things (you'll be seeing more posts in the near future). For instance, do we as humans go back to what is familiar out of comfort if they thing we were trying/doing/involved in/with didn't work? I wonder. For example, am I attempting to create an open, peaceful relationship with my family. Could it be I am motivated to do this because the marriage I was in didn't work? I don't know. Why can't I have both?

How can I have amazing, open, true, beautiful relationships with my girlfriends and at the same time share the same, if not deeper bond with my significant other? The is is YES I CAN!!! Yes! I can have it all. I can have that emotionally stimulating, spiritually grounded, physically adventurous "Fun Ship" (Fun Relationship) with my partner and still hang with the girls on Saturday night. Heck, why not make it a couples things every now and again and just have a good time.

Personally speaking, one agreement I didn't make was to ensure Christann's happiness and fulfillment first and foremost. Is that selfish? hell no. it's honest! it's truthful! it's real. The question is...how can I fully contribute to the success of a relationship/friendship if I myself am not whole. Remaining whole in a relationship is key. Changing yourself to fit into a relationship is setting it up for doomsday. It's "Bass-Ackwards"!! But transforming the relationship to fit your person is the way, the truth and the light! ;)

If I like dancing (which I do), I shouldn't stop going dancing because I am in a relationship...No way Jose! How do I merge the two? If I enjoy entertaining friends at home (which I do)...how can I have fun in my apron with my girls and with my man? (oooooh! I can think of many ways to do the latter)...I'd definitely be the hostess with the mostess! HOLLA!!

One thing is to no be so consumed with a relationship that friendships die....and vice versa. Being fluid is key. Being true is key. Being open is key. Being loving is key. Being YOU is key!!! You can make your worlds mesh and be seamless! I can still hang with the girls on a Saturday night...party like a ROCK STAR and still have that ROCK STAR RELATIONSHIP! Yes! You have to create what you want for your life....oh, I mean "I can create what I want for my life?"

YES I CAN!!!!

xoxo,

~C.

Unknown Territory

Sometimes the World Wide Web is elusive to me. It's like you have to know exactly what you are looking for (or not), type it correctly in Google to come up with the correct results. Its a never ending story with me. Like for instance, I'm looking for a writing desk for my bedroom. Nothing fancy but nothing shitty either. I'd like it to be wood with a center drawer for papers, journal, pens, etc. I just don't know where to start looking. I've done the google search but have I done my due diligence (as my best friend always asks)? I'm not sure. Do I have the patience is probably the correct question to be asking. And honestly, NO! I don't. As of right now, I do not have the patience to search numerous sites, look through hundreds of photos, sends countless email asking for dimensions/exact type of wood/etc......I need to allow myself the space to want the desk and have the desire to do the work thats involved in getting the desk into my bedroom.

Final Question to myself....
Now, How Bad Do You Want a Writing Desk Christann?????