Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
The Exchange is Always Simple...
A couple of weeks ago I went to visit my mom...she lives in Los Angeles and I just wanted to see her. Just so happens my six year old nephew Khary was there. My mom & nephew were both happy to see me...and I them.
We exchanged hugs and kisses and my mom walked back into the kitchen to finish cooking and my nephew stayed in the living room with me to hang out....
OK...so long story a bit shortened. I needed to make a run and Khary wanted to ride along. I agreed and he ran into the bedroom to grab his shoes. He hurried to tie his laces and we walked outside. He calls me "Tea Tea" (just so you know when I get to the nitty gritty of this bloggy woggy).
We get into the car, hop in, seat belts fastened, windows go down, and we head out. Not long after we are in the car, he asked me a question, "Tea Tea, are you and Uncle Shannon still married?" I immediately think and ask myself, how do I answer this question so that a six year old will understand? Then I remember one of the chapters from "The Celestine Prophecy" that refers to adults relating to children and how we should relate to them the same way we relate to adults. Then I thought, Christann just tell him the truth. That's it! So to put it simply, I replied, "Khary, it just didn't work out for Uncle Shannon & I to remain married." He then asked "why?" I replied, "sometimes situations don't always work out the way you intend and it has to end." He then asked, "But Tea Tea, tell me why." This is when my wheels began to turn even faster. Like seriously do I really divulge the details, give a play by play account of what happened and didn't happen within my now dissolved marriage? My answer was no. Bottom line...I wasn't going to define my marriage for Khary. I wouldn't define it for anyone else. It just didn't work out. Period. So I answered Khary with these words, "Khary, honestly I don't know why it didn't work out. It just didn't." He then says, "Tea Tea, everything will work out between you & Uncle Shannon, you just have to hug every day. If you hug everyday you will feel better and then your belly will get big and you will have a baby and then you have to keep hugging Uncle Shannon and everything will be fine." I answered, "really??" He then proceeded to explain, "Because Papa (his grandfather) makes me hug Pappi (his second cousin who is 7 years old) every time we fight and now we don't fight anymore and I love Pappi" I was shocked and awed! Literally. FLOORED!
Does this 6 year old child who enjoys playing guitar hero and cried when Optimus Prime was killed in Transformers 2 have the formula to having a loving relationship down pat? So many thoughts ran through my mind, tears came to my eyes, and a smile to my face. Like had I hugged my former husband every day would we have fought less, would we have gone to bed upset, would we have laughed more, when the energy became ill (for whatever reason) had one of us just grabbed the other and just held on....what would the outcome have been??
I then asked Khary, "is that all I need to do in life is hug someone???" He smiled and answered, "Yeah, Tea Tea, just hug everyday and everything will work out."
OMG!!!!
This is an exchange I will always cherish because even though my marriage is no more, I have to realize there is a lesson or a blessing or maybe both in every exchange between two people. Always. In the exchange Khary and I had...there were both. Even though he is 6 years old, I respect his words as if he were 46. I am grateful. Thank you Khary for being open to allow your wisdom to be a blessing to me. I am truly grateful!!!
We exchanged hugs and kisses and my mom walked back into the kitchen to finish cooking and my nephew stayed in the living room with me to hang out....
OK...so long story a bit shortened. I needed to make a run and Khary wanted to ride along. I agreed and he ran into the bedroom to grab his shoes. He hurried to tie his laces and we walked outside. He calls me "Tea Tea" (just so you know when I get to the nitty gritty of this bloggy woggy).
We get into the car, hop in, seat belts fastened, windows go down, and we head out. Not long after we are in the car, he asked me a question, "Tea Tea, are you and Uncle Shannon still married?" I immediately think and ask myself, how do I answer this question so that a six year old will understand? Then I remember one of the chapters from "The Celestine Prophecy" that refers to adults relating to children and how we should relate to them the same way we relate to adults. Then I thought, Christann just tell him the truth. That's it! So to put it simply, I replied, "Khary, it just didn't work out for Uncle Shannon & I to remain married." He then asked "why?" I replied, "sometimes situations don't always work out the way you intend and it has to end." He then asked, "But Tea Tea, tell me why." This is when my wheels began to turn even faster. Like seriously do I really divulge the details, give a play by play account of what happened and didn't happen within my now dissolved marriage? My answer was no. Bottom line...I wasn't going to define my marriage for Khary. I wouldn't define it for anyone else. It just didn't work out. Period. So I answered Khary with these words, "Khary, honestly I don't know why it didn't work out. It just didn't." He then says, "Tea Tea, everything will work out between you & Uncle Shannon, you just have to hug every day. If you hug everyday you will feel better and then your belly will get big and you will have a baby and then you have to keep hugging Uncle Shannon and everything will be fine." I answered, "really??" He then proceeded to explain, "Because Papa (his grandfather) makes me hug Pappi (his second cousin who is 7 years old) every time we fight and now we don't fight anymore and I love Pappi" I was shocked and awed! Literally. FLOORED!
Does this 6 year old child who enjoys playing guitar hero and cried when Optimus Prime was killed in Transformers 2 have the formula to having a loving relationship down pat? So many thoughts ran through my mind, tears came to my eyes, and a smile to my face. Like had I hugged my former husband every day would we have fought less, would we have gone to bed upset, would we have laughed more, when the energy became ill (for whatever reason) had one of us just grabbed the other and just held on....what would the outcome have been??
I then asked Khary, "is that all I need to do in life is hug someone???" He smiled and answered, "Yeah, Tea Tea, just hug everyday and everything will work out."
OMG!!!!
This is an exchange I will always cherish because even though my marriage is no more, I have to realize there is a lesson or a blessing or maybe both in every exchange between two people. Always. In the exchange Khary and I had...there were both. Even though he is 6 years old, I respect his words as if he were 46. I am grateful. Thank you Khary for being open to allow your wisdom to be a blessing to me. I am truly grateful!!!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
helicopters & laughter...
its almost half past ten...haha...did I really just type that?? Oh hell no!
It's almost 10:30pm, PST. I am sitting on the bed...laptop atop my lap, bathrobe feeling cozy and soft against my skin, my reading glasses are on my lap as well. LOL! Yeah, I should have them on but I'm too sleepy to reach for them or is it that I am so tied to this computer I don't want to lift my digits off of the keyboard to put them on! OK OK!! I'm putting them on.
*stopped typing to put glasses on*
This is one of those blogs....that I just ramble...I am just typing what I'm hearing, feeling, seeing and maybe tasting at present moment. I hear a helicopter outside of the window and two people laughing. They sound happy! I like that. I like that I can hear laughter and appreciate it. I even hear the crickets....these sounds are some of the sounds that are making the music of my night. I am getting really sleepy now.
Going to get some rest now...tomorrow is a new day, full of possibilities that I can create whatever I want for myself and be whoever I want to be!
It's almost 10:30pm, PST. I am sitting on the bed...laptop atop my lap, bathrobe feeling cozy and soft against my skin, my reading glasses are on my lap as well. LOL! Yeah, I should have them on but I'm too sleepy to reach for them or is it that I am so tied to this computer I don't want to lift my digits off of the keyboard to put them on! OK OK!! I'm putting them on.
*stopped typing to put glasses on*
This is one of those blogs....that I just ramble...I am just typing what I'm hearing, feeling, seeing and maybe tasting at present moment. I hear a helicopter outside of the window and two people laughing. They sound happy! I like that. I like that I can hear laughter and appreciate it. I even hear the crickets....these sounds are some of the sounds that are making the music of my night. I am getting really sleepy now.
Going to get some rest now...tomorrow is a new day, full of possibilities that I can create whatever I want for myself and be whoever I want to be!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Men Are Like Wine...Are They???
So I was reading something and the following quote struck me....
"men are like wine...its our job to stomp on them & keep them in the dark until they mature into something to have dinner with." - Mifsud.
After reading this I thought to myself...I don't want to stomp on something in order to have it mature...who do I think I am. So I decided to write...I must disagree with that quotation and here is what I felt....
Men are not like wine...men are not like anything on this Earth. They, as a species are a beautiful creation and expression of God's goodness. I don't want to stomp on anything and keep it in the dark....who am I? I am woman. And woman in relation to man (IMO) is a beautiful reflection of himself. A man that I desire to reflect is a man of strength and sensitivity. Affection and openness. Freedom and full self-expression. Can I be that reflection to him? Yes, I can!!! Being present with him always. Giving one another the space to create a beautiful light. There is no darkness where I roam...its nothing and its everything. I am choosing not to define it. I am choosing not to compare it to wine or to whine. I am allowing man to be MAN! Please be that! Ever evolving...ever creating...ever loving...ever.
Now where is my mirror??!?!?!
"men are like wine...its our job to stomp on them & keep them in the dark until they mature into something to have dinner with." - Mifsud.
After reading this I thought to myself...I don't want to stomp on something in order to have it mature...who do I think I am. So I decided to write...I must disagree with that quotation and here is what I felt....
Men are not like wine...men are not like anything on this Earth. They, as a species are a beautiful creation and expression of God's goodness. I don't want to stomp on anything and keep it in the dark....who am I? I am woman. And woman in relation to man (IMO) is a beautiful reflection of himself. A man that I desire to reflect is a man of strength and sensitivity. Affection and openness. Freedom and full self-expression. Can I be that reflection to him? Yes, I can!!! Being present with him always. Giving one another the space to create a beautiful light. There is no darkness where I roam...its nothing and its everything. I am choosing not to define it. I am choosing not to compare it to wine or to whine. I am allowing man to be MAN! Please be that! Ever evolving...ever creating...ever loving...ever.
Now where is my mirror??!?!?!
Friday, April 10, 2009
A Good Year
Last night I was chillaxing at home watching the Ridley Scott directed, Russell Crowe acted film, "A Good Year". You know the one they did together right after "Gladiator"? Yeah, that one.
Well I am always moved by films like this. Always. Whether its "Under the Tuscan Sun" "Roman Holiday" "Something's Gotta Give" ....I think Europe is calling me. Subconciously. I think it is.
OK, back to "A Good Year" well at the end of the film, Russell Crowe's character Max Skinner has fallen hard for Marion Cotillard's character, Fanny Chenal....and she is a waitress in a beautiful French bistro and Max comes back to open up to Fanny and these were the lines....
yes! I was inspired and touched.
Fanny Chenal "You sure you don't need more time?"
Max Skinner "No, I know what I want"
FC "You're sure you don't?"
MS "Absolutely."
FC "So what is it to be?"
MS "How's the soup?"
FC "The soup is finished."
MS "Like my job." "The fish?"
FC "We've run out."
MS "That's like me with excuses."
FC "Don't waste my time, chose something we have."
(Max stands up and faces Fanny...getting very close to her)
MS "I would like a lifetime spent with an irrational and suspicious Goddess. Some short-tempered jealousy on the side and a bottle of wine that tastes like you. The glass that's never empty."
(extremely slow and soft kiss)
MS (in French) "Forgive my lips, they find joy in the most unusual places."
FIN
Now I know this is a movie but damn....that can happen in real life. Not necessary those amazingly written words but the feelings and the energy that exists between Max & Fanny. They were in that deep, speak to the soul, I don't care what the world thinks or says....we create our own world together love!
Beautiful!
I just had to share that because I am moved & inspired by that.
Well I am always moved by films like this. Always. Whether its "Under the Tuscan Sun" "Roman Holiday" "Something's Gotta Give" ....I think Europe is calling me. Subconciously. I think it is.
OK, back to "A Good Year" well at the end of the film, Russell Crowe's character Max Skinner has fallen hard for Marion Cotillard's character, Fanny Chenal....and she is a waitress in a beautiful French bistro and Max comes back to open up to Fanny and these were the lines....
yes! I was inspired and touched.
Fanny Chenal "You sure you don't need more time?"
Max Skinner "No, I know what I want"
FC "You're sure you don't?"
MS "Absolutely."
FC "So what is it to be?"
MS "How's the soup?"
FC "The soup is finished."
MS "Like my job." "The fish?"
FC "We've run out."
MS "That's like me with excuses."
FC "Don't waste my time, chose something we have."
(Max stands up and faces Fanny...getting very close to her)
MS "I would like a lifetime spent with an irrational and suspicious Goddess. Some short-tempered jealousy on the side and a bottle of wine that tastes like you. The glass that's never empty."
(extremely slow and soft kiss)
MS (in French) "Forgive my lips, they find joy in the most unusual places."
FIN
Now I know this is a movie but damn....that can happen in real life. Not necessary those amazingly written words but the feelings and the energy that exists between Max & Fanny. They were in that deep, speak to the soul, I don't care what the world thinks or says....we create our own world together love!
Beautiful!
I just had to share that because I am moved & inspired by that.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Yes! I Can!!!
I really feel like blogging...I am new at this and I am taking a chance...putting my thoughts out there! Whew!! Okay...breath Christann breath!!! I have been thinking about a bunch of things (you'll be seeing more posts in the near future). For instance, do we as humans go back to what is familiar out of comfort if they thing we were trying/doing/involved in/with didn't work? I wonder. For example, am I attempting to create an open, peaceful relationship with my family. Could it be I am motivated to do this because the marriage I was in didn't work? I don't know. Why can't I have both?
How can I have amazing, open, true, beautiful relationships with my girlfriends and at the same time share the same, if not deeper bond with my significant other? The is is YES I CAN!!! Yes! I can have it all. I can have that emotionally stimulating, spiritually grounded, physically adventurous "Fun Ship" (Fun Relationship) with my partner and still hang with the girls on Saturday night. Heck, why not make it a couples things every now and again and just have a good time.
Personally speaking, one agreement I didn't make was to ensure Christann's happiness and fulfillment first and foremost. Is that selfish? hell no. it's honest! it's truthful! it's real. The question is...how can I fully contribute to the success of a relationship/friendship if I myself am not whole. Remaining whole in a relationship is key. Changing yourself to fit into a relationship is setting it up for doomsday. It's "Bass-Ackwards"!! But transforming the relationship to fit your person is the way, the truth and the light! ;)
If I like dancing (which I do), I shouldn't stop going dancing because I am in a relationship...No way Jose! How do I merge the two? If I enjoy entertaining friends at home (which I do)...how can I have fun in my apron with my girls and with my man? (oooooh! I can think of many ways to do the latter)...I'd definitely be the hostess with the mostess! HOLLA!!
One thing is to no be so consumed with a relationship that friendships die....and vice versa. Being fluid is key. Being true is key. Being open is key. Being loving is key. Being YOU is key!!! You can make your worlds mesh and be seamless! I can still hang with the girls on a Saturday night...party like a ROCK STAR and still have that ROCK STAR RELATIONSHIP! Yes! You have to create what you want for your life....oh, I mean "I can create what I want for my life?"
YES I CAN!!!!
xoxo,
~C.
How can I have amazing, open, true, beautiful relationships with my girlfriends and at the same time share the same, if not deeper bond with my significant other? The is is YES I CAN!!! Yes! I can have it all. I can have that emotionally stimulating, spiritually grounded, physically adventurous "Fun Ship" (Fun Relationship) with my partner and still hang with the girls on Saturday night. Heck, why not make it a couples things every now and again and just have a good time.
Personally speaking, one agreement I didn't make was to ensure Christann's happiness and fulfillment first and foremost. Is that selfish? hell no. it's honest! it's truthful! it's real. The question is...how can I fully contribute to the success of a relationship/friendship if I myself am not whole. Remaining whole in a relationship is key. Changing yourself to fit into a relationship is setting it up for doomsday. It's "Bass-Ackwards"!! But transforming the relationship to fit your person is the way, the truth and the light! ;)
If I like dancing (which I do), I shouldn't stop going dancing because I am in a relationship...No way Jose! How do I merge the two? If I enjoy entertaining friends at home (which I do)...how can I have fun in my apron with my girls and with my man? (oooooh! I can think of many ways to do the latter)...I'd definitely be the hostess with the mostess! HOLLA!!
One thing is to no be so consumed with a relationship that friendships die....and vice versa. Being fluid is key. Being true is key. Being open is key. Being loving is key. Being YOU is key!!! You can make your worlds mesh and be seamless! I can still hang with the girls on a Saturday night...party like a ROCK STAR and still have that ROCK STAR RELATIONSHIP! Yes! You have to create what you want for your life....oh, I mean "I can create what I want for my life?"
YES I CAN!!!!
xoxo,
~C.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Unknown Territory
Sometimes the World Wide Web is elusive to me. It's like you have to know exactly what you are looking for (or not), type it correctly in Google to come up with the correct results. Its a never ending story with me. Like for instance, I'm looking for a writing desk for my bedroom. Nothing fancy but nothing shitty either. I'd like it to be wood with a center drawer for papers, journal, pens, etc. I just don't know where to start looking. I've done the google search but have I done my due diligence (as my best friend always asks)? I'm not sure. Do I have the patience is probably the correct question to be asking. And honestly, NO! I don't. As of right now, I do not have the patience to search numerous sites, look through hundreds of photos, sends countless email asking for dimensions/exact type of wood/etc......I need to allow myself the space to want the desk and have the desire to do the work thats involved in getting the desk into my bedroom.
Final Question to myself....
Now, How Bad Do You Want a Writing Desk Christann?????
Final Question to myself....
Now, How Bad Do You Want a Writing Desk Christann?????
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