Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
The Exchange is Always Simple...
A couple of weeks ago I went to visit my mom...she lives in Los Angeles and I just wanted to see her. Just so happens my six year old nephew Khary was there. My mom & nephew were both happy to see me...and I them.
We exchanged hugs and kisses and my mom walked back into the kitchen to finish cooking and my nephew stayed in the living room with me to hang out....
OK...so long story a bit shortened. I needed to make a run and Khary wanted to ride along. I agreed and he ran into the bedroom to grab his shoes. He hurried to tie his laces and we walked outside. He calls me "Tea Tea" (just so you know when I get to the nitty gritty of this bloggy woggy).
We get into the car, hop in, seat belts fastened, windows go down, and we head out. Not long after we are in the car, he asked me a question, "Tea Tea, are you and Uncle Shannon still married?" I immediately think and ask myself, how do I answer this question so that a six year old will understand? Then I remember one of the chapters from "The Celestine Prophecy" that refers to adults relating to children and how we should relate to them the same way we relate to adults. Then I thought, Christann just tell him the truth. That's it! So to put it simply, I replied, "Khary, it just didn't work out for Uncle Shannon & I to remain married." He then asked "why?" I replied, "sometimes situations don't always work out the way you intend and it has to end." He then asked, "But Tea Tea, tell me why." This is when my wheels began to turn even faster. Like seriously do I really divulge the details, give a play by play account of what happened and didn't happen within my now dissolved marriage? My answer was no. Bottom line...I wasn't going to define my marriage for Khary. I wouldn't define it for anyone else. It just didn't work out. Period. So I answered Khary with these words, "Khary, honestly I don't know why it didn't work out. It just didn't." He then says, "Tea Tea, everything will work out between you & Uncle Shannon, you just have to hug every day. If you hug everyday you will feel better and then your belly will get big and you will have a baby and then you have to keep hugging Uncle Shannon and everything will be fine." I answered, "really??" He then proceeded to explain, "Because Papa (his grandfather) makes me hug Pappi (his second cousin who is 7 years old) every time we fight and now we don't fight anymore and I love Pappi" I was shocked and awed! Literally. FLOORED!
Does this 6 year old child who enjoys playing guitar hero and cried when Optimus Prime was killed in Transformers 2 have the formula to having a loving relationship down pat? So many thoughts ran through my mind, tears came to my eyes, and a smile to my face. Like had I hugged my former husband every day would we have fought less, would we have gone to bed upset, would we have laughed more, when the energy became ill (for whatever reason) had one of us just grabbed the other and just held on....what would the outcome have been??
I then asked Khary, "is that all I need to do in life is hug someone???" He smiled and answered, "Yeah, Tea Tea, just hug everyday and everything will work out."
OMG!!!!
This is an exchange I will always cherish because even though my marriage is no more, I have to realize there is a lesson or a blessing or maybe both in every exchange between two people. Always. In the exchange Khary and I had...there were both. Even though he is 6 years old, I respect his words as if he were 46. I am grateful. Thank you Khary for being open to allow your wisdom to be a blessing to me. I am truly grateful!!!
We exchanged hugs and kisses and my mom walked back into the kitchen to finish cooking and my nephew stayed in the living room with me to hang out....
OK...so long story a bit shortened. I needed to make a run and Khary wanted to ride along. I agreed and he ran into the bedroom to grab his shoes. He hurried to tie his laces and we walked outside. He calls me "Tea Tea" (just so you know when I get to the nitty gritty of this bloggy woggy).
We get into the car, hop in, seat belts fastened, windows go down, and we head out. Not long after we are in the car, he asked me a question, "Tea Tea, are you and Uncle Shannon still married?" I immediately think and ask myself, how do I answer this question so that a six year old will understand? Then I remember one of the chapters from "The Celestine Prophecy" that refers to adults relating to children and how we should relate to them the same way we relate to adults. Then I thought, Christann just tell him the truth. That's it! So to put it simply, I replied, "Khary, it just didn't work out for Uncle Shannon & I to remain married." He then asked "why?" I replied, "sometimes situations don't always work out the way you intend and it has to end." He then asked, "But Tea Tea, tell me why." This is when my wheels began to turn even faster. Like seriously do I really divulge the details, give a play by play account of what happened and didn't happen within my now dissolved marriage? My answer was no. Bottom line...I wasn't going to define my marriage for Khary. I wouldn't define it for anyone else. It just didn't work out. Period. So I answered Khary with these words, "Khary, honestly I don't know why it didn't work out. It just didn't." He then says, "Tea Tea, everything will work out between you & Uncle Shannon, you just have to hug every day. If you hug everyday you will feel better and then your belly will get big and you will have a baby and then you have to keep hugging Uncle Shannon and everything will be fine." I answered, "really??" He then proceeded to explain, "Because Papa (his grandfather) makes me hug Pappi (his second cousin who is 7 years old) every time we fight and now we don't fight anymore and I love Pappi" I was shocked and awed! Literally. FLOORED!
Does this 6 year old child who enjoys playing guitar hero and cried when Optimus Prime was killed in Transformers 2 have the formula to having a loving relationship down pat? So many thoughts ran through my mind, tears came to my eyes, and a smile to my face. Like had I hugged my former husband every day would we have fought less, would we have gone to bed upset, would we have laughed more, when the energy became ill (for whatever reason) had one of us just grabbed the other and just held on....what would the outcome have been??
I then asked Khary, "is that all I need to do in life is hug someone???" He smiled and answered, "Yeah, Tea Tea, just hug everyday and everything will work out."
OMG!!!!
This is an exchange I will always cherish because even though my marriage is no more, I have to realize there is a lesson or a blessing or maybe both in every exchange between two people. Always. In the exchange Khary and I had...there were both. Even though he is 6 years old, I respect his words as if he were 46. I am grateful. Thank you Khary for being open to allow your wisdom to be a blessing to me. I am truly grateful!!!
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